Sunday, November 1, 2009

Things are a changing














Isaiah 264 "Trust in the Lord always for the Lord God is the eternal Rock"

Things are changing for me. Who would have guess that a few months ago I would be able to stand in front of 100 or more people and give a tost to my best friend Shannon and her husband at her wedding and not wig out. Ya I was nerveous but I had God with me and holding me. It wasnt as bad the biggest thing was my mom was making it worse by saying you dont have to give it . I felt lead to that it was a stepping stone for what is to come in my life. I have to admit I was scared of what my future may hold with work and my calling. But now I know that whatever happens I have God on my side and with Him anything is possible. Just recently my friend and I started a new twitter account for addiction (@fillmyvoid). It was created so people who had any addiction who conquered it whose struggling with it. To talk it out. Its also a way for me to reach out to others who currently struggle or have struggled with addictions. This was brought up because someone I knew from my celebrate recovery group said that I shouldnt pick up a chip because I have not gone to any meetings and not working on my own recovery. I personnaly dont think working the 12 steps is for me. I have learned by trial and error. In the past I reach out to others before reaching out to God. But my friend @AliveinMe is helping me to reach out to God first then to others. I am so blessed to know her. I was recently put on a waiting list for the Department of Rehabilitation. I thought this was just another screw Katie out of the help and services needed to make me successful and thrive. But in fact it might not be the case. My moms friend from college said to my mom she would come with us to the meeting she is a liscensed social worker so it will help shake them up. Its all in Gods timing I might not be ready for what He has me doing next so He is preparing me right now to do His will. Its all in His timing. I just need to have patience. I have to be willing and open to change regardless of how scary it might be. I need to remember that God is first and everything else is second. If He is first and infront of me then I have nothing to fear easy said then done but i will try. Something else I may not got to meetings for my Alcohol problem but I am reaching out to many others who if I had not gotten back into twitter I would not have met awesome people all over the place. I do not like to be forced into something ike joining a step group or changing groups all together. I am a person too with real issues and real problems. I guess some people dont think that and so they are missing out on getting hugs and smiles from me. God closed that door for good the other day when I recieved that email. I dont need to feel like Im trash in a safe place. I dont need to be treated like a kid and have to act as if everything is fine and dandy and play it up. Because that is not me any more Im tired of this pretending was me long ago not me anymore.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is a great post !! Continue to write you are very good at it my friend!

Madre Minutes said...

Katie,
Your ability to be transparent is a wonderful gift. I think the @fillmyvoid is a great idea and will hold you accountable as well as help others be accountable. People will say whatever they are going to say, they will do whatever they will do and most probably disappoint 9 times out of 10, but our God will never disappoint or forsake us. He will not have you go through something unless He has prepared you to handle it. One day at a time, one step in front of the other, one smile at a time and one gesture of kindness extended to another. Thanks for sharing.
Kindest regards,
b†
madreminutes.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

So glad and happy that things are changing.That you see what you need to do to get better.

Holding onto Christ and am so proud of you.This blog is an encouragement and wow!!

Thanks for this blog.Admire your open candid honestly.That reflects,seals your true desire for Christ,continued recovery the way He wants you to.

Stephanie