Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Friend To All

This is for a dear friend of mine Hetty or @AliveinMe. Who is currently going through her 3rd brain surgery for Epilepsy.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that GOD causes everything to work together for the good of those who love GOD and are called according to HIS purpose."

As I sit in my room watching the snow fall I sit and remember when I first came in contact with Hetty. It was towards the middle of May during a time when I was going through a lot. The first time I even heard of Hetty was from @MUSICBYALMA on a follow Friday suggestion. When she was still known as Hetty4Christ. So I decieded to click on Hetty's profile and saw we had some things in common. But isn't that like GOD when one friendship goes away or HE closes that door HE has someone or something already waiting that's better. It was a time when a friend from my Celebrate Recovery group decided to delete me from their friends list on facebook and was trying to convince me to switch groups. I was talking to GOD if this how it has to be I wont trust anyone else because I did and I ended up hurt again. I then asked if this was my way out of Celebrate Recovery because why would I want to be in a group with people who didn't want me in there. And so GOD shut that door. This was just a few weeks before Hetty came into my life. I was just beginning to get into twittering because I had lost my job the middle of April and needed some form of contact with people. SO I clicked on Hetty's name and read her profile again and then decided I would go a head and follow her. Then the next thing I know we start talking and find out we have lots in common. So I gave her my number cause she wanted to talk with me. I was nervous at first cause there where only a few people I talked to on the phone with. I didn't know if I was up to it but then she said she wouldn't bite and was so laid back and that is so true. The first time I spoke on the phone with her was when I was having a rough time. My parents had gone away for the weekend and I was gonna be gone for the weekend. She called me and we talked a long time she shared her story with me and I shared mine with her as well. Talking to her was like I knew her all my life. I felt safe and thought that maybe this friendship would be different then other friendships. I had explained to her that past friendship have resulted in tearing me down and Hetty told me that there is no need to tear you apart. I didn't know what to say after that. But I knew that GOD placed her in my life for a reason. During the second night at home I got really down and wanted to drink and I texted her and she said I didn't need it and she said just talk to GOD. Each time I get in a funk she would set me straight telling me I have to turn to GOD first. I always went to others first then GOD. I guess I had a problem trusting GOD would actually be there for me. I still struggle with that at times but Hetty still reminds me of that. I guess its the whole having trouble trusting others then how can I trust GOD that's how I viewed it and sometimes still do. She is also very patient with me when we talk. Because of having ADHD I can very random at times with my thoughts plus I like to change topics quickly. Talking with her is really like Ive known her all my life and yet only a couple of months. I am able to share with her stuff that I haven't shared with a lot of people. She doesn't judge me and told me that there is no need to tear down. She isn't afraid to give tough love when needed. She sure has given me some tough love and I am thankful for that. Because it put me back in my place when I was close to bottom. Told me I needed to go to GOD first. I am a better person knowing her. Its hard to see friends of mine sick or in hurting. I wish at times I could take it. But I know Hetty will make it through her surgery I will be praying for her. I know I have a lot to learn still and know that it is a process. But I am learning to trust others and open up to others Hetty has helped me in that way. So I thank God for our friendship. Because I am a better person now.