This song I found sunday watching the Dove awards. Something about this song hit me maybe it was the opening line "Don't know how it is YOU looked at me/ And saw the person I could be/ Awakening my heart/ Breaking through the dark/ Suddenly YOUR grace Like sunlight burning at midnight / Making my life something so / beautiful, beautiful/ Mercy reaching to save me/ All that I need/ YOU are so BEAUTIFUL, BEUTIFUL" Beautiful Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli
WOW I was blown away. I mean really HE thinks Im beautiful. DUDE that rocks. After years of not getting the whole thing with GOD now I get it. I think it happened when I went to see Natalie Grant in concert. But there is a change in me something that has been gone for a long time. At the end of the concert Natalie started praying and then everyone took hands of the person next to you. I felt these hands on the back of my shoulders. Then things changed I felt lighter. That night I also fell off the bed at the hotel and hit my head and messed up my neck then me and my friend got in trouble with hotel cause we were being loud. So it kinda bugged me but I didnt let it ruin my weekend. SO last monday came around and I had this huge smile on my face that hasnt been there in a while everyone was telling me that I looked happy. So WED came and in my group time we did an activity and had free talk at the end and I shared about my moms drinking that was the first time I talked about it to people who I didnt know and shared. I shared about my sobriety as well. Which is a big thing for me because I was all closed didnt want other people to know how bad it is at home at times but something in me told me to open up and let go and I did. Because I am good at putting up fronts and hiding how I really felt inside. Once I owned up and said that then another wieght had lifted. I also set up an appointment to see a counselor who specializes in adult ADHD. I realized that it is not fair for me to have all this anger and I need to deal with it before its too late. But GOD doesn't see me as women with ADHD HES sees me as HIS child and beautiful. I may not think its true. BUT sure is. And I may forget that sometimes but when I hear this song I just smile and thank GOD HE sees me that way.