In first grade I was diagnosed with ADHD. At the time of my diagnosis I didn't know the reason why I was so different from everyone else; I just know that I had a hard time staying focused and very soon after hearing the diagnosis, I was on several medications. In addition to ADHD, anxiety and depression would be added to the list of things that I would have to suffer from at a young age. My life was a challenge from the very beginning and I have always looked for ways to cope with it.
I grew up Catholic, and participated in the most important sacraments like baptism, reconciliation, communion, and confirmation. I was one of the first female altar servers at the church I went to.
In high school, I was the manager of the girls’ basketball team for 4 years. It became an obsession. The thought of not being apart of a team crippled me emotionally because my identify was based around basketball. My freshman year at college, I kept seeing signs on the elevator for Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Totally thought it was crazy and I didn't want to have anything to do with FCA. I went to the event thinking and saying to myself, “Why am I here? I'm not a Christian or an athlete. This is crazy.” This event would mark the beginning of my journey to learning more about Christ, but little did I know that my life would take a drastic turn before my journey would lead me to actually accepting him.
Growing up, I said I would never drink or do drugs. My first year at college was when I was first introduced to alcohol and weed. It only took one drink for me to get hooked. The bottle became my god it's what I craved. I was so depressed and filled. With anxiety that I spent most days isolated. At the begging of my Junior year I found a non denominational church that helped begin my searching for Christ. And really started attending FCA that year. I would continue to drink and numb out because I hated myself, but on June 1, 2006 my life changed.
It was the day after my birthday and I had way too much to drink. While lying on my friend’s floor, sick and drunk, I realized that I was an alcoholic. I asked God to help me and in that moment he took the urge to drink away from me completely.
God would continue to pursue me and love in spite of my past. I would get hooked on following Little Big Town around the East Coast with an old friend. I thought that this would fill the void in my heart, but it didn't. I got my thrills at the concerts through the energy of the band. And at the time it was what I thought I needed, but honestly, it wasn't making me any happier. Once I found MBC Silver Spring, I began to really understand Gods love for me. In 2011 while caring for a sick friend she looked at me and asked if I knew where I was going when I died. I told her I think so. Those words kept coming back to me because in my head I believed I was a Christian but I wasn't sure. It wasn't until I had a reaction to a drug where the doctor said I possibly had a stroke because I had all the signs of one, that my life would begin to take a turn for the best. I realized that it was God's grace that protected me from having a stroke. So on that day I knew I had to change. I couldn't keep going through the motions. I needed God to be the center of my life.
On November 3, 2013 I finally grasped what it meant to “be saved.” Jesus came, died, was buried, and rose again in order to save us from our sin. I realized my need for forgiveness and I asked God to forgive me for my sins, and He did. Today I know for a fact that I'm forgiven, and that the same God who changed my life, can do the same for you.